Scene
1 MONKEY NARRATOR 1
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to class 703’s drama, Journey to the West. This is the story of a magic monkey and a holy monk who are on a long and difficult journey.
MONKEY NARRATOR 2
They meet many friends, and make even more enemies during their incredible adventure. Let’s look in our story now. The monk, Tripitaka, is about to meet Monkey. Looks like Monkey is stuck between a rock and a hard place...
TRIPITAKA is walking, when suddenly he sees a strange looking head jutting out from the base of a mountain]
TRIPITAKA
What’s this? Who are you? You look like a monkey, a very strange looking monkey. So, are you really a monkey?
MONKEY
Of course I am! I am great stone Monkey, Sage-Equal-to-Heaven. I am the most powerful monkey in the world. I cannot ever die!
TRIPITAKA
Hmmm…if you are so strong, why are you stuck under the mountain?
MONKEY
Never mind, it’s a long story. Just let me out and I will help you with anything you want!
TRIPITAKA
My name is Tripitaka. I am a monk. Guan Yin told me to go to India to find a holy book. If you promise to be a good Monkey, stay out trouble and help me get the holy book, I will let you out.
MONKEY
Guan Yin told me that a monk would come for me! Yes, Tripitaka, I promise to be a good Monkey and help you get the holy book.
TRIPITAKA
All right. To let you out, first I must climb this mountain and say some magic words.
MONKEY
Please hurry!
Scene
2[Guan Yin’s helpers, dressed up as Secret Service agents come out on stage to sound the all clear for Guan Yin’s appearance. They all speak into their wrist mikes, even when they are very close together.]
AGENT GOLDEN BOY
Agents, we must check this area before Master appears. Agent Jade Maiden and Iron Maiden, you check that way. Agent Salty Plum, check the back. Agents Chin Guard and Foo La-la, you check the front. Agent Smith, come with me.
ALL AGENTS (except Agent Smith)
10-4! Okey-dokey.
AGENT SMITH [to himself]
Why do I have to go with him? I always have to go with him...Guan Yin’s Golden Boy.
AGENT JADE MAIDEN
[Find TRIPITAKA. Pat’s him down, etc.] Agent Golden Boy, it’s all clear over here! Just an old monk.
AGENT IRON MAIDEN
He’s a harmless monk. No special powers. No weapons, either.
AGENT GOLDEN BOY
Copy that!
AGENT SALTY PLUM [gone backstage??]
Looks like a backstage here...nothing unusual, over.
AGENT CHIN GUARD [inspecting audience]
Agent Golden Boy, We found some farmers and some peasants. They won’t give us any trouble.
AGENT FOO LA-LA
We’ll stay here and keep watch; make sure they stay in place while Master does his business, over.
AGENT GOLDEN BOY
Good idea Foo la-la. [Calls out to Guan Yin] All right Master, all is clear. You can appear now.
GUAN YIN [gliding into Tripitaka’s sight]
Tripitaka, I see that you found Monkey.
TRIPITAKA
Oh Guan Yin! I didn’t see you come. Yes, I found Monkey. He says he will help me if I let him go.
GUAN YIN
You must be careful with Monkey. He is very powerful and he loves to get in trouble. I will give you a magic hat to help you control him. When Monkey is naughty, just say these magic words:
Monkey see, monkey do, made a monkey out of you!
His head will hurt very much until you snap your fingers like this: [snaps fingers]
TRIPITAKA
Thank you Guan Yin.
[TRIPITAKA walks back to where Monkey is, who is slowly making his way out of his prison]
MONKEY
At last I am free after 500 years!
TRIPITAKA
[Tripitaka is thinking hard how he will get Monkey to put on the magic hat. Suddenly, he has an idea…]
Here Monkey, I have a gift for you. Wear this hat on your head and you will be even smarter than before!
MONKEY
[Monkey puts on the hat and realizes that the hat will not come off]
You have tricked me! This hat is a magic hat. I cannot take it off! I am going to make you pay for this!
[Monkey takes his magic staff and is about to hit Tripitaka on the head. But tripitaka quickly recites the magic words]
TRIPITAKA
[chanting…]
Monkey see, Monkey do, made a Monkey out of you!
MONKEY GROUPIE 1/2/3/4/5
Monkey see, Monkey do, made a Monkey out of you!
Naughty Monkey, eyes so red
Tripitaka’s got your head!
MONKEY
[Monkey doubles over, screaming in agony]
Argh! Stop! Stop! I will do as you say!
TRIPITAKA
Let us be on our way, then.
MONKEY NARRATOR 3
…And so begins Monkey’s adventure with Tripitaka. Along the way, they meet Pigsy, Sandy and White Dragon-Horse. They are all helping Tripitaka on his quest. Together they fight many demons and monsters.
MONKEY NARRATOR 4
Our merry band have just finished defeating a monk flesh-eating horde of ogres. Pigsy will be kidnapped shortly, but that is not in our story today. It is night time now, and they are sitting around a campfire, eating and talking...
[Around the campfire sit TRIPITAKA, MONKEY, PIGSY, SANDY and WHITE DRAGON HORSE]
SANDY
Monkey; tell us how you came to be under the mountain for 500 years.
PIGSY
SANDY, are you finished eating your vegetables? I am only asking…
[PIGSY takes the food before SANDY can speak. SANDY is visibly annoyed]
WHITE DRAGON HORSE
Monkey, you must have made the gods very angry! Go on tell us the story.
PIGSY
WHITE DRAGON HORSE, you shouldn’t eat so much. It’s not healthy; you will become fat. How will you carry TRIPITAKA’s things if you are fat? Let me help you…
[same as above]
MONKEY
[Still eating]
mmm...ok...the story begins....
[PIGSY cuts off MONKEY]
PIGSY
MONKEY, you should not speak with your mouth full. It’s not polite… Can I have your tofu?
MONKEY
Silence, Pigsy! You have eaten enough. I will tell you the story. It all started with the peaches…
[In the Garden of Heavenly Peaches]
MONKEY NARRATOR 5
Monkey is in heaven. The Jade Emperor has given Monkey the title of Keeper of the Immortal Peach Garden. Monkey is happy, for now…
God 1
Monkey, please pay attention; stop jumping around!
Servant 1
Monkey, please pay attention; stop jumping around!
MONKEY
That is not so easy. It is hard to stop jumping about when you are a monkey.
God 2
MONKEY! SIT DOWN!
Servant 2
Monkey! Sit down!
God 2
Be quiet!
Servant 2
Be quiet!
God 2
I mean, YOU [pointing to Helper 2] be quiet. Giving orders is my job!
[MONKEY sits, fidgeting]
God 3
These peaches take 9000 years to ripen. If you eat these peaches you will live for a thousand years. They are the most important fruit in heaven. Take care of these peaches.
Servant 3
Take care of these peaches. [God 1 kicks Servant 1 in the behind]
God 1
But these peaches are not for you Monkey. They are only for the Gods and their special party. Take care of these peaches.
[Gods leave. Of course, MONKEY gorges himself on the peaches]
MONKEY
These look very tasty and I am very hungry...
[Monkey goes to sleep]
God 4
Where are all the peaches?
God 5
They have all gone. Monkey must have eaten them, we must tell the Jade Emperor.
God4
The Emperor will be very angry.
[They move close to the Jade Emperor]
God 5
Emperor! Monkey has eaten all of the heavenly peaches
God 4
The immortal dinner will be ruined. We must catch and destroy the Monkey.
JADE EMPEROR
You are correct. Generals, I order you to catch the Monkey and destroy him!
God 5
We will take our heavenly armies to find the monkey right away!
MONKEY NARRATOR 3
In the mean time, Monkey learns he is not invited to the Gods’ Big party. This makes Monkey VERY angry…
MONKEY
What?!? Not on the guest list for the Gods’ special party? Who do they think they are? I will show them!
[MONKEY starts going crazy, wrecking the place. The Generals arrive with their army and surround MONKEY]
MONKEY
You think you are a match for me? You old, tired men? And your soldiers who can’t think for themselves? Ha, ha, ha! This will be a lot of fun!
GENERAL 1
Give up Monkey!
CAPITAIN
By order of the Jade Emperor, bow down to us. You are greatly outnumbered! Be reasonable...
MONKEY [to audience]
A reasonable Monkey? He asks too much! All I need is a few of my hairs, which I will turn into copies of myself. They will be no match for me...
[MONKEY copies appear and begin fighting soldiers. Suddenly the music starts, and the cast joins in a choreographed number of “Monkey Magic”]
MONKEY NARRATOR 6
The Generals and soldiers finally capture Monkey. They even put a chain around his neck. But try as they might, they cannot kill Monkey. Swords, knives and spears just bounce off Monkey’s stone body.
[at the palace with Monkey in tow. The Jade Emperor is drinking tea with Lao Tze]]
General 2
Emperor we have done our best. We have caught MONKEY.
General 1
But we cannot kill him. He is invincible!
General 2
What can we do, oh Emperor?
JADE EMPEROR
Lao Tze, Is your furnace still burning hot?
Lao Tze
The furnace burns hot, Emperor. Nothing can put it out. There is nothing it cannot burn to ashes. Surely Monkey will not survive it.
JADE EMPEROR
Take him to Lao Tze’s furnace and burn him until he is gone!
[The Generals put him in the furnace]
God 3
It has been 49 days. Is MONKEY gone yet?
God 2
[Looking in the furnace]
He’s not gone. He’s not even well-done. Oh no!
[MONKEY pops out, a bit burned, but looking even more powerful, with red fiery eyes]
God 3
What shall we do? MONKEY will surely destroy us now. Who can save us us?
[Buddhist chanting begins. Buddha appears. Everyone on stage prostrates themselves, including the gods]
BUDDHA
I can save you. I am gold, wood, water, fire and earth. I am the Great Buddha of the West.
BUDDHA and MONKEY are talking. (MONKEY is supposedly sitting in BUDDHA hand...)
BUDDHA
MONKEY, you are very troublesome. But you are also very powerful. I will make a deal with you. If you can jump out of my hand, I will make you ruler of heaven.
MONKEY
And the Jade Emperor can make moachi for me whenever I want?
BUDDHA
Don’t push your luck Monkey. But if you loose, I will place a mountain on top of you, from which you cannot escape. Do you agree to this?
MONKEY
No problem!
[To the audience] Doesn’t Buddha know Monkey is a master at cloud-hopping? I can jump 108,000 km in a single jump! Buddha will surely loose this bet!
[MONKEY jumps and lands at the other end of the stage where he sees 5 large pillars]
These must be the-pillars-at-the-end-of-the-world. I will write my name on one of them to prove to Buddha where I have been.
[MONKEY writes his name. He gets ready to jump back, but suddenly gets a mischievous grin on his face, turns around and urinates on one of the pillars, with great satisfaction. He jumps back]
[back with BUDDHA]
You see, Buddha? I have been to the end of the world in a single jump! Now you have to keep your end of the bargain...
BUDDHA
[Visibly annoyed]
Not only did you not leave my hand, you have also ruined my holy robe with your filth! MONKEY BE GONE!
[Mountain lands on top of Monkey.]
MONKEY
Ahhhh!
BUDDHA
You will stay under this mountain until you realize that you must use your powers to help others and not yourself.
Scene 10
TRIPITAKA
That’s quite a story, Monkey.
SANDY
You are so naughty, Monkey. I hope you don’t make Buddha angry again. We still have so far to go.
PIGSY
Tell us again about the delicious peaches...
TRIPITAKA
Yes, Monkey is a naughty monkey, but he has a good heart and is stronger than all of us. I am glad you are with me on this journey.
PIGSY/SANDY/WHITE DRAGON-HORSE
Me, too!